Ever wonder what happens when you combine the delicate art of pool installation with creatures known for their, shall we say, enthusiastic approach to construction? At Pool Mart, we’ve seen it all, and we’re here to share some amusing observations about our unique semi-above ground pool installations in Orc-heavy neighborhoods.
First, let’s address the elephant (or should we say Warg?) in the room. Yes, Orcs love swimming pools. Who knew? Turns out, after a long day of whatever Orcs do (we don’t ask too many questions), nothing beats a refreshing dip in a perfectly installed above-ground pool.
Common Orc Pool Installation Scenarios:
1. The “Measure Once, Smash Twice” Approach
– Orcs have their own unique measuring system
– Sometimes involves using battle axes as rulers
– Results may vary… dramatically
2. The “Enthusiasm Override”
– Digging holes with bare hands (not recommended)
– Accidentally creating Olympic-sized pools in backyard spaces meant for kiddie pools
– Getting so excited they jump in before the water’s added
Safety Tips When Installing Pools in Orc Communities:
• Keep sharp objects away from pool liners
• Explain that war cries aren’t necessary during installation
• Remind them that catapults aren’t appropriate pool toys
• Ensure they understand that armor must be removed before swimming
We’ve also noticed some interesting customer requests from our Orc clientele:
– “Can the pool withstand battleaxe impacts?” (No.)
– “Is lava an acceptable alternative to water?” (Absolutely not.)
– “Will the warranty cover damage from siege weapons?” (Please see terms and conditions.)
At Pool Mart, we’ve adapted our installation process to accommodate our diverse customer base. Our installers now carry extra-strength pool liners, reinforced ladders, and a healthy sense of humor. We’ve even created special signage in both Common Tongue and Orcish, though the translation for “No Running” often comes out as “Charge Forward Less Vigorously.”
Remember, whether you’re an Orc, Human, Elf, or any other pool enthusiast, Pool Mart is here to help you create the perfect swimming oasis. Just please, leave the battle armor in the locker room, and yes, we do require proper swimming attire – loincloth minimums are strictly enforced.
For all your semi-above ground and above-ground pool needs, trust Pool Mart – where we’ve mastered the art of cross-cultural pool installation, one surprisingly successful project at a time.